Part 2

According to the phenomenon of the abstract exposure effect, people tend to like other people to whom they are considered familiar.

In one example of this phenomenon, psychologists at the University of Pittsburgh, USA, had four women pretend to be university psychology students. Each woman attended a different number of times.

When the researchers showed pictures of the four women to male students, the men showed a greater attraction to these women, who they saw the most in the lecture, even though they did not interact with any of them.

We should all spend the most time with people who energize and inspire us. People who make us better.
How can we increase these types of interactions? I think of it as a funnel. The top is broad and wide and should be filled with park bench people. We aim to have the bottom be very small as that’s where we relegate relationships and interactions that are not fulfilling. The middle might seem like a safe zone, but since the funnel is in constant motion it’s easy for someone to move up or down. Remember, credibility and trust can be won or lost every day. Therefore, you have to continually invest in trying to make all of your relationships better. For those who are at the bottom, do your best to show up and give people a fair chance to move up the funnel, but spend more time with the best relationships.
Recently, I ran into a former business associate. Years ago, she worked hard on a deal and late in the game I decided to go with another vendor that offered a more compelling offer. It was ugly in the moment—way bottom of the funnel stuff—there were angry phone calls and I wasn’t welcome at her workplace. In the years that followed, we ran into each other and we were always polite but frosty—low-middle of the funnel, maybe. But recently we were placed at the same table at a conference. I saw an opportunity. “Back in the day I may had mishandled something. I’m sorry,” I said. Her reply: “No apology necessary.” Now, would we stop one another to talk if we weren’t forced to? If we discovered the other on a park bench? I’m not sure, but it’s getting closer. In the meantime, I look forward to the next breakfast run-in and I know it will go even better.